When A Man Makes A Plan

When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. ~ Proverbs 16:7

I have accomplished a lot in my life so far. I have learned that I need a plan to be happy.  I need a goal, a mountain to climb, or a dragon to slay.

I have also learned that anything that comes easy doesn’t feel earned. I am not a masochist though. The people in our lives adds enough struggle in addition to whatever you are trying to do, on their own.

This week I gave myself a sixty-month plan. I am still working out the details. In five years, I will see if I can retire. I plan to be awesome on guitar. I will downsize. I will be healthier than I am today.

For that past three years I have wondered where I was going with my wife being handicapped/incapacitated following the removal of a brain tumor. Taking care of her has been a struggle.  I wasn’t sure how I should feel. There is no end in sight.  There is no prognosis.  She could get out of the bed tomorrow, or be there indefinitely.  I have grown weary of platitudes, well wishes and cliches heaped upon me by friends and family. I have grieved in all the stages over and over again. How long will I have to pay aides, therapist? How long will I have to change adult diapers?  How long will I have spend money on this stuff.

The plan came to me while walking and talking to God. I needed a definite number for my finite mind to comprehend.  I can hold on for sixty months. In the time it will take me to pay off the last vehicle I purchase, I can reasonable expect the Lord to help me, fix or change this situation. I don’t even know what I asking for. I am just trusting Him to take care of it for the next 61 months. 

In five years, the house will have a new roof. The insides will be repainted. The world will change if not end by then.  I am going to learn music theory, how to read music and have recorded an album. 

I just have to hold on to the change comes.  The Lord may take longer or shorter to do what He does for.  Having a definitive time helps my brain.  It’s me that needs a deadline.  It gives me peace.